Yusuf Bello, Author at Islamic Faith Family Foundation

A Pious wife…

Again The Prophet Speaks:
“A pious wife who helps you in religious and worldly affair is better than all treasures” Sahih Al-Jami 5355

Allah says:
The man is the pillar of the woman
This is an enormous responsibility placed on the shoulder of the husband. Taking decision when it matters is included.
The essence of life is for you to know that when going into marriage make up your mind to….
Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.

If any of this is about to happen or has happened seek help.

At the end of the day:
People may give you great advice, but ultimately, only Allah gives perfect Guidance.

Thanks to Allah for guidance, continuous blessing and peace to the best of mankind and I pray it extend to the sincere followers of the Deen till the day of kiyyamah.

Wives have Right over you: Same as you have over them

Preamble;

That Islam is ahead of the Western World in the way and manner a female is viewed is not in doubt. While Islam see the female as an entity; a human created with similar needs and feelings, an entity that should be loved, cared for and protected, while retaining her dignity, family name and honor.

The West sees and present the female as an object; a play-thing, a toy at best. To be used, displayed and disposed. The West make presence at honoring the woman while in reality, the glamorized view of females is an added burden to her overflowing challenges.

For in trying to meet up with the glamorous life, she becomes the object of abuse of all kinds. Financial as well as sex abuse becomes her lot as she struggles to meet-up!

Our view today therefore is to present the woman of the house. The one in charge of the heart of the matter and outline the delicate balance she occupies in the affairs of Muslim husband and her home.

I Begin:
In The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful.
I offer salutation to the best of Mankind, Muhammad (pbuh). May the peace and blessings be perpetual till the Day of Kiyyamah. Amin

The Common Complain of Oppressed Wives:
People assume that any time the wife is not happy, the issue must be financial. The complaints of wives against most of the husbands is beyond material. This time around, it is a matter of emotion. Emotion, is the heart of the matter.

Cross-Cutting Issue:
The complaint is not restricted to Faith, tribe or number of wife in the family. A surprising fact is that most women that complain ofloneliness are in one-man one-wife marriages. Muslim and non Muslim alike. Then I enquire what the issues are? What I could pick among other issues are: unfaithfulness from hubby and abandonment.
This also has nothing to do with lack of slush fund. In actual fact, cases of loneliness or abandonment is more common among the well-to-do in terms of the size of pocket or Bank balance.

In Islam
Among the Kabair (Great Sins) are:
^Worshiping any other thing except Allah: either in images, human or animal form,
*Disobedience to parents: you do not say fie to your parents. Under all condition you must speak to them words of comfort with s soft tone.
*Eating the property of orphans: denying the orphan of his or her inheritance is like eating fire into your stomach and
Last but not the least is when a man abandon his family !

It is this last point that we shall be looking into in today’s episode.

Statement of The Prophet (pbuh):
“Allah will not accept the worship of a slave that run away from his master until he returns nor father that abandon his family until he returns home”

It is good to note that:
Abandonment is not limited to when you physically leave your house . When you are not talking and it extend beyond 3 days is abandonment
When you turn your back on her just to oppress her is abandonment
When you are not making provision for feeding of the family and you have the means, is abandonment
When you are not responsible to the welfare of your children and you have the means is abandonment

The cracked heart:
In all of these, it is part of human frailties. It does not matter what your skin color, tribe, educational status or social standing in the community. When you are farther away from Allah s.w.t and you missed the company of the pious, then Shaitan get hold of you.

When Shaitan occupies the heart of man, only Allah is capable of mending a broken heart.

The Florious Qur’an speaks:
Suratul Furqan (25:1)
“Blessed is He who sent down the Furqan upon His servant that he may be a Warner to the nations.”

Beware of Dog is a popular slogan of the houses where canine animals are used as security accompaniment. The dog recognizes his owner and few members of the household that cares for her. Even at that, it sometimes bite its owner. As aggressive as the dog can be, it can be tamed. In fact, every animal is trainable by man. Allah (Majesty is. his) has subjected the animals to mankind

Shaitan the Decil:
But the devil is a jinn. An evil spirit that whispers evil into the mind and heart of anyone that is negligent or distant from the message of Allah (Majesty is His) and his Messengers (pbuh). The Shaitan has agent among humankind and animals. Therefore, I can only tell you to:

Be careful and beware of Shaitan:
Suratul Nisai 4:1
“O people, be careful of (your duty to) your Lord. Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same kind and spread from these two, countless men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by whom ye demand one of another, your rights, and to the ties of relationship, surely Allah ever watches over you”.

Beware of the Shaitan oh Believers:
Suratul Nur 24:21
“O you who believe! Do not follow the footsteps of Shaitan, and whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitan, then surely
he bids the doing of indecency and evil, and
were it not for Allah’s grace upon you and His mercy,
not one of you would have ever been pure, but
Allah purifies whom He pleases, and Allah is Hearing , Knowing”

Marriage is purity. Ask those that are not married and are in illegal relationship, they will tell you there is no fulfillment. No purity!

If Gold can rust, tell me what becomes of lesser metals. What becomes of wood. What becomes of clay. The Gold must not rust, brothers and sisters. The should be saved and the foundation of the home is the marriage.

In advising men that are married to more than one woman at a time, Allah s.w.t warn the believing men, “not to abandon one wife, as it were, hanging like a rag”.

That is to say do not wreck the wife emotionally. At any age, the married woman loves the company and attention of her husband.

What do we attribute a one-man one-wife that treats his wife like a rag, abandoning her bed, not divorcing her and yet, she is not into marriage real time.

How do you want your Ibaadat to be accepted.

Whoever is not merciful to the creature of Allah (Majesty is His), it will be difficult for such a character to get mercy from Allah (Majesty is His)

Poetic statements on Marriage

Part 3
Wedding ceremony is cost expended,
Romance in marriage is drama acted, but
Happiness in marriage cannot be bought, but
it is also not free of cost
Marriage is like a bed
As you lay it so you lie on it
Make your bed clean and neat, sweat dream become yours and for yours truly
Marriage,
It is not meant for the arrogant too. The stupid and arrogant I tell you will make a mess of boiled egg.

For a marriage to breakup or breakdown, one or both of the partners is either arrogant, foolish or arrogantly foolish.

What is obvious:
It does not matter whether the man is good or the lady is nice, a stupid husband will mess up a clever wife and an arrogant wife will mess up a patient husband.

Way Out and Maintaining Balance:
When the wife notices the husband is angry, let her appease him
When the husband notices his wife is not pleased with him, he should appease her.

That to me is the reason for coming together. So said one of our noble predecessor

With The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful
Living in Harmony:
Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other. Always remain brothers/sisters unto each other, o servants of Allah. (Muslim)

High Expectation:
The families expects so much from each spouse
The friends both wife and husband expects so much
The truth is that it is when both couple are stable the family is said to have built a home. Expectations of people should not be a priority

The Spouses:
The couple rightly so expects so much from the other; Rightly so.
What couple in marriage need to know is that favors from Allah are not evenly distributed. The need for coming together is to compliment one another especially in terms of needs or lacks, and this needs or lacks varies from time to time.
Placing material procession on the front burner
Eventually burn the marriage to ashes

Patience and Tolerance are not evenly available virtues:
While some are easy to please, some are difficult to please while some are very difficult to please
While some are reasonable, some are very sensible and some are very sensitive
The most dangerous a relationship is with a person that is easy to anger and difficult to appease
Choose wisely and pray fervently
Marriage is a potpourri of discoveries. In marriage, there is no surprises

To those that care to listen to voice of reason, being married and remaining married is “work in progress”

Health, wealth, and longevity are as available as Allah (Majesty is His) Wills it and apportion it.

The most intelligent of the two spouse does not determine whom will be financially up

Neither is it the most apparently healthy will be the last to depart the earth, uh, but truth must be told for those who cares to listen.
These are things Allah determines as He pleases.

While you are alive:
The duty of one is the right of the other.
The right of one is therefore the duty of the other

When the expectation is within reason and reliance is on Allah
Your family operates on autopilot whether in scarcity or surplus

Jealousy / Anger is a set back
“Beware of jealousy or anger
For verily it destroy good deeds the way fire destroy dried grass”

What You Need Remember:
“To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth
And Allah has power over all things” (3:189)

The Couple’s Prayer among other prayers:
“Our Lord give us in this world
That which is good
And in the hereafter, that which is good
And protect us from the fire of hell” (2:201)

Poetic Statements on marriage

Poetic statements on marriage
Part 1
Marriage is not meant for stupid people.
But stupid people get married anyway
Marriage is not for fools
But foolish people get married anyway
Marriage is not for the silly ones
Silly ones get married anyway
But I tell the intending couple…….
Happy marriage is not meant to be a long dance to the blue Danube
But you can make your marriage a lullaby for you, yours and the household

Part 2
There are things you must do
There are things you must see
There are thing you will see and pretend not to see
There things you will hear and pretend you did not hear
Winning argument will not give you happiness
This is because
Lasting and enduring married life
Is not a fluke
It is work in progress

Going Into Marriage? A good way to start is…. Never Hate Each Other

Going Into Marriage? A good way to start is…. Never Hate Each Other

Get Old in Your Marriage
“There is no shame in growing old married as the other alternative is to kill the marriage within your house”.

“Essence of Life” is dedicated to those in marriage, thinking of getting married, and about to get married.

When your perception of life is a trouble-free and your perception of married life has a glassy romantic glaze, am begins to pity a character such as that. Pity is the adjective used for want of a better word!

What You Talk or Write on Could Be For or Against You

What You Talk or Write on Could Be For or Against

Mankind like to be free. He cuddles freedom like a new found bride. What he forget is that, in life, absolute freedom will be his albatross.
The mechanical contraptions could not have made good sense, if breaking mechanism is not in place. In this time and age, modern man feels he is not to be restricted. By this, he craves Liberty, then liberation, then freedom of expression.

Freedom for a Muslim is not absolute. Freedom is enjoyed with absolute sense of responsibility. You are responsible to your self no doubt. Where you are irresponsible, you and those around you suffers the consequence of your irresponsibility.

The man is a component of many parts. The part of the organs that controls the speeches of humankind are as many as the scientist could point at. The visible organs are the tongue, the teeth and the lips; all of these housed in the mouth.

To ensure the mouth is not “running” without control, the tongue is partially fixed to the floor of the mouth, gagged or imprisoned in a cage by the teeth and partially closed-in by the two soft lips.

It means that your personal effort is needed in order for the mouth to make speeches. Even then, the vocal is not automatic not minding the presence of various organ and its controls.

The Muslim is guided and advised to make correct speeches. He is told accounting for his saying is assured. He is responsible and accountable for what he says or do. We pray for guidance.

Belief and Guardian are Siemens twins:
“Allah is the guardian of those who believe. He brings them out of darkness into the light, and as to those who disbelieve, their guardians are Shaitans who take them out of light into the darkness; they are the inmates of the fire, in it they shall abide”. Qur’an (2:257)

You Are Put on Notice:- The Prophet (s.a.w) said:
“whatever I forbid you from doing, do not do them.
Whatever I command you to do,
Do as much of it as you are capable of doing”

A Muslim is constantly reminded to be alive to his responsibility; as it is a fact that what you talk or write about could be for or against you.

It Appears Easy:
Talking appears very easy. However when you watch a stammerer making effort at forming sentences, you come to realize that it is not so easy after all. This is how you will feel if you reflect. If you can reflect. Only a sober and guided person is capable of reflecting. We pray for continuous guardian.

Simple Observation May Help:
If you take time to watch the dumb making greater effort at communicating, you then come to the conclusion that talking is not as simple as calling “Mama” or “Baba”.

The Cost of Talking-The-Talk:
Let us now see how cost or price could be attached to what comes out of your mouth. The cheapest of the network cost 20kobo per secs. That in Naira and kobo is #12:00 per min. #720 per hour
#2880:00 per four hours. #20160 per week,
#80,640:00 per month. #967,680:00 per year.
*using Nigeria Naira and Kobo as the currency of calculation*
That is using 4hr in a period of 24 hrs as bench mark!
You do not need to be an economist or financial analyst to acknowledge the fact that talk or talking the talk does not come cheap.
All the network provider are charging you for is the technology provided by sciences and engineering. The tool of communication itself is a gift of and from Allah (s.w.t). In this case: tongue, teeth and the two lips.

The Phone used is not part of the cost yet. The price is according to the deepness of your purse and taste you have cultivated over time.

Is it not better for you to reflect on the Creator of this fanciful being called Mankind and be thankful to Allah s.w.t

Worth of Your Speeches:
Let us now put value to your speeches. Of what value is what you say. To what benefit do you use the speech organs. For what purpose. If what you say brings trouble to the hearts, you have a burden. If what you say is injurious to the people, uh, you have a problem.

There are people that will be very busy at either abusing someone, cursing or gossiping. The talking some people get involved in destroys the people and society. Of what value is your speech(s) to yourself, family, friend or Nation. None!

As a Believer: You Should Know:
The number One article of Faith is to belief in Allah, the Omnipotent, Omniscient etc. as well as belief in the Messengers of Allah.
For a Muslim, it is an article of Faith to belief. Belief in the existence of Angels is a cardinal faith. The Angels carry out the order of their Maker without hesitation.

Sheikh Bilal Philips( May Allah accept his works) is worth quoting here.
“When you open your mouth to talk,
choose the very same words that you would use if Allah is near you. Because He is!”

You and Your Soul: Allah is in-between:
“And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein.” [50:16]

If you are aware of this, will it benefit you to spend your entire time to be abusing people, gossip or to slander. When you realize the fact that you will be called to account for what you say, you will use the lock provided to control your speech; the teeth and the lips. Uh!

The Essence of Life is for you to be mindful of your actions.

At all time, it is better for you to remember that:
What You Talk or Write on
Could Be For or Against
For contact: Islamic Family Foundation

08033175075
Saturday, 5 November 2016