Again The Prophet Speaks:
“A pious wife who helps you in religious and worldly affair is better than all treasures” Sahih Al-Jami 5355
Allah says:
The man is the pillar of the woman
This is an enormous responsibility placed on the shoulder of the husband. Taking decision when it matters is included.
The essence of life is for you to know that when going into marriage make up your mind to….
Never hate each other; never be jealous of each other; never think ill of each other; never boycott each other.
If any of this is about to happen or has happened seek help.
At the end of the day:
People may give you great advice, but ultimately, only Allah gives perfect Guidance.
Thanks to Allah for guidance, continuous blessing and peace to the best of mankind and I pray it extend to the sincere followers of the Deen till the day of kiyyamah.
Wives have Right over you: Same as you have over them
Preamble;
That Islam is ahead of the Western World in the way and manner a female is viewed is not in doubt. While Islam see the female as an entity; a human created with similar needs and feelings, an entity that should be loved, cared for and protected, while retaining her dignity, family name and honor.
The West sees and present the female as an object; a play-thing, a toy at best. To be used, displayed and disposed. The West make presence at honoring the woman while in reality, the glamorized view of females is an added burden to her overflowing challenges.
For in trying to meet up with the glamorous life, she becomes the object of abuse of all kinds. Financial as well as sex abuse becomes her lot as she struggles to meet-up!
Our view today therefore is to present the woman of the house. The one in charge of the heart of the matter and outline the delicate balance she occupies in the affairs of Muslim husband and her home.
I Begin:
In The Name of Allah The Eternally Merciful The Especially Merciful.
I offer salutation to the best of Mankind, Muhammad (pbuh). May the peace and blessings be perpetual till the Day of Kiyyamah. Amin
The Common Complain of Oppressed Wives:
People assume that any time the wife is not happy, the issue must be financial. The complaints of wives against most of the husbands is beyond material. This time around, it is a matter of emotion. Emotion, is the heart of the matter.
Cross-Cutting Issue:
The complaint is not restricted to Faith, tribe or number of wife in the family. A surprising fact is that most women that complain ofloneliness are in one-man one-wife marriages. Muslim and non Muslim alike. Then I enquire what the issues are? What I could pick among other issues are: unfaithfulness from hubby and abandonment.
This also has nothing to do with lack of slush fund. In actual fact, cases of loneliness or abandonment is more common among the well-to-do in terms of the size of pocket or Bank balance.
In Islam
Among the Kabair (Great Sins) are:
^Worshiping any other thing except Allah: either in images, human or animal form,
*Disobedience to parents: you do not say fie to your parents. Under all condition you must speak to them words of comfort with s soft tone.
*Eating the property of orphans: denying the orphan of his or her inheritance is like eating fire into your stomach and
Last but not the least is when a man abandon his family !
It is this last point that we shall be looking into in today’s episode.
Statement of The Prophet (pbuh):
“Allah will not accept the worship of a slave that run away from his master until he returns nor father that abandon his family until he returns home”
It is good to note that:
Abandonment is not limited to when you physically leave your house . When you are not talking and it extend beyond 3 days is abandonment
When you turn your back on her just to oppress her is abandonment
When you are not making provision for feeding of the family and you have the means, is abandonment
When you are not responsible to the welfare of your children and you have the means is abandonment
The cracked heart:
In all of these, it is part of human frailties. It does not matter what your skin color, tribe, educational status or social standing in the community. When you are farther away from Allah s.w.t and you missed the company of the pious, then Shaitan get hold of you.
When Shaitan occupies the heart of man, only Allah is capable of mending a broken heart.
The Florious Qur’an speaks:
Suratul Furqan (25:1)
“Blessed is He who sent down the Furqan upon His servant that he may be a Warner to the nations.”
Beware of Dog is a popular slogan of the houses where canine animals are used as security accompaniment. The dog recognizes his owner and few members of the household that cares for her. Even at that, it sometimes bite its owner. As aggressive as the dog can be, it can be tamed. In fact, every animal is trainable by man. Allah (Majesty is. his) has subjected the animals to mankind
Shaitan the Decil:
But the devil is a jinn. An evil spirit that whispers evil into the mind and heart of anyone that is negligent or distant from the message of Allah (Majesty is His) and his Messengers (pbuh). The Shaitan has agent among humankind and animals. Therefore, I can only tell you to:
Be careful and beware of Shaitan:
Suratul Nisai 4:1
“O people, be careful of (your duty to) your Lord. Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same kind and spread from these two, countless men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by whom ye demand one of another, your rights, and to the ties of relationship, surely Allah ever watches over you”.
Beware of the Shaitan oh Believers:
Suratul Nur 24:21
“O you who believe! Do not follow the footsteps of Shaitan, and whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitan, then surely
he bids the doing of indecency and evil, and
were it not for Allah’s grace upon you and His mercy,
not one of you would have ever been pure, but
Allah purifies whom He pleases, and Allah is Hearing , Knowing”
Marriage is purity. Ask those that are not married and are in illegal relationship, they will tell you there is no fulfillment. No purity!
If Gold can rust, tell me what becomes of lesser metals. What becomes of wood. What becomes of clay. The Gold must not rust, brothers and sisters. The should be saved and the foundation of the home is the marriage.
In advising men that are married to more than one woman at a time, Allah s.w.t warn the believing men, “not to abandon one wife, as it were, hanging like a rag”.
That is to say do not wreck the wife emotionally. At any age, the married woman loves the company and attention of her husband.
What do we attribute a one-man one-wife that treats his wife like a rag, abandoning her bed, not divorcing her and yet, she is not into marriage real time.
How do you want your Ibaadat to be accepted.
Whoever is not merciful to the creature of Allah (Majesty is His), it will be difficult for such a character to get mercy from Allah (Majesty is His)
